It’s the last day of 2021… the day where I can prepare to welcome the new year ahead. A day of anxious excitement mixed with a dose of nostalgia and topped with just a sprinkle of fear and worry.
However, on this particular day I awoke and instantly noticed that I didn’t not feel right… WHAT IS THIS??? I thought to myself as I began to become more aware to the aches flooding through my legs, a weight that has somehow consumed my body, a numbing pain and discomfort that has found a new home in my head and my stomach seemed to be missing in action.
ðŸ’I SUPPOSE IM JUST TIRED….
ðŸ’THOSE CHICKEN WINGS MIGHT HAVE MESSED MY STOMACH UP…
ðŸ’MAYBE I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD…
I decided to start my morning with a nice warm bath since I could not seem to stay warm. Once in the comfort of a nice warm bubble bath complimented with the glow of two or three candles. I finally gained a sense of comfort and ease or so I thought…
After an hour or so as I found myself back in bed, the aches and pain in my legs began to intensify and grow throughout my entire body. At this point I KNEW FOR A FACT that something was wrong and once I found myself running to the bathroom with puke running in between my fingers trying to keep projectile vomiting off of my list of most disgusting experiencing …my thought was confirmed.
I succeeded in keeping one new experience of the above mentioned list of horrors but instead acquired a tally for yet another dreaded experience that I’ve tried so desperately to push to the deepest part of my mind….
My feeble attempt at this desperate prevention backfired!!! 😮😳🤯ðŸ˜
This is officially an emergency level situation… we have hazardous waste coming out of both ends 🤬
As this crisis level situation slowly comes to an end I find myself once again in the comforts of yet another bubble bath.
As I’m about 30 mins into bath Number 2, I become aware that the scorching hot water is extremely soothing to my aching body and comforting to the very core.
ðŸ’Let’s stay here for a while….
After an unknown amount of time has passed, I am nestled back in what I mistakenly thought was the comforts of my bed after seeing that my temperature was climbing into the 100’s 🤒
rest was definitely the main focus…or so I thought… Moments later, the pain and aches again intensified and reached a point of extreme discomfort, nausea was making another visit, and the visitors in my head were bringing guest.
Before we go any further, I think it important to mention that some time ago I choose to forgo pharmaceuticals and stick to more holistic and natural methods of healing with Jireh being the source. I took a stance that God is my ultimate healer… the source of healing itself and if I find myself in situations where I am in need of healing, I want to experience (for myself) that God is my healer and can heal me from all things. With that being said I knew that medication was not an option. So I opted for the only thing I knew for a fact would alleviate the pain… needless to say bath number 3 would shortly commence.
This vigorous cycle continued for close to 72 hours and I’m sure that I broke the record for most baths in once weekend….but If I completely honest with myself I can say that this was a shaky battle of my faith. I choose to believe that God is my ultimate source of healing. I know him to be Jehovah Rapha (the Lord who heals) and I wanted to experience him as such…So there was no other option for me this was it.
However, I in my mind I battled.. I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. So many thoughts 💠came and went….
Why Was God not healing me immediately?
Why was I still in Pain?
Where was his Peace?
Why did I have to go through this in the first place?
Why was my Year end and begin like this?
Was there something I did?
Was God mad at me?
But through it all, the curiosity, the frustration, and disappointment… I continued to seek him. I choose to include God and his word in my thought process. I choose to seek prayer since I was to weak to pray for myself, I allowed the words of other like minded believers to bring comfort and encouragement but most of all I continued to wait on God by choosing to allow God to be God in this situation. In this moment it hit me why our PRESS is so important. *Reference James 1:2-3 (NLT).
From this place I was able to see the situation differently. If I found myself in pain I prayed for those experiencing pain, if I found myself worried and depressed because my taste and smell was gone I prayed for those who might be feeling worried about the same thing or even worried about being sick, if I found myself fearful I prayed for those who might be experiencing fear. In short, my individual experience (every symptom, every feeling, every thought) pushed me to a place of interceding for others. As I held strong to the expectation of God healing me(perriooodd) I became aware of God pushing me beyond myself.
My faith felt stronger
My confidence felt stronger
My hope in God felt stronger.
Even though my experience with YOU GUESSED IT… COVID last about 2 weeks with some residual Yuckies lingering, I know I experienced God in a new and intimate way…because as I’ve mentioned throughout this entire story, I made room for it.
From HIS PEACE beyond all understanding
HIS LOVE and Patience as I sought to understand
HIS FAITHFULNESS to me even when my Faith in him was tried and tested
To HIS MIRACLES, SIGNS & WONDERS that he blessed me with along the way.
For that, I for one can say that I’m thankful that I experienced the beginning of a new year with COVID and God!
Let’s chat about it: 🗣
What are some some ways that you have you experienced God afresh and anew this year?
Have you ever believed God in the face of disappointment, confusion, and frustration? If so, how did your faith endure?
Share your story? Leave your answers in the comments.
I can’t wait to hear from you! 😊